The Ride of Your Life
by Friezaess
Summary: Schwarz gets stuck keeping an eye on Takatori whilst he's at a theme park. What happens when Crawford gets dragged onto the roller coaster by his team mates? Dun dun dun!


_~* THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE *~_  
  
[insert disclaimer here]  
  
AN: This is my very first Weiss Kreuz ficcy! It's also my first piece of writing in around three months O_o Man, I'm getting slack. I usually write for the Gundam Wing fandom, but I have all of a sudden been captured by WK. *glomps Farfie plushie ^____^* So here it is, my first ever WK fic! Enjoy!  
  
_~*~_  
  
It wasn't as though he didn't like having fun. Of course he liked to have fun. It was just that he didn't consider the idea of being tossed about and losing his stomach with around thirty screaming people behind him 'fun'. Brad Crawford sighed in the back seat of the front carriage as he waited for the ride to start. Beside him, Nagi contemplated cutting the waiting time by moving the roller coaster himself.  
"Hey, good idea, Chibi!" An intrusive mind reader exclaimed, turning around in his seat to face the young telekinetic. "And then you can make it go so fast that it hurls people out of their seats!"  
"Or you could float them onto the tracks so we can run them over," the fourth member of Schwarz added, conjuring up some rather grotesque mental images. Schuldich turned his attention to the madman on his left.  
"Wouldn't that derail the roller coaster?"  
"Only one way to find out..."  
"There will be no killing while we're on the ride," Crawford ordered, rubbing the bridge of his nose.  
"What if Weiss is in one of the carriages?" Nagi asked.  
"You can kill *them*."  
"What if someone throws up on me?"  
"Well-"  
"Or what if the some guy comes at me with a gun?"  
"Uh-"  
"What if someone tries to steal my undies?"  
Three sets of eyes turned to Farfarello.  
"Oh, that's right. I'm not wearing any. Never mind."  
  
As the handlebars were lowered, Crawford lamented upon how he had ended up in this rather aggravating situation.  
  
Schwarz had been given a simple task- making sure that no-one knocked off Reiji Takatori whilst he took his daughter Ouka to one of Japan's most exhilarating and talked about theme parks. But of course, with all the excitement of rides, performances, junk food, and people emptying the contents of their stomachs at great speeds and heights, there were certain members of Schwarz who were distracted from their task. Namely everyone sans Crawford. And when his subordinates had laid eyes upon what claimed to be the fastest, tallest roller coaster in the entire country... well... things just went downhill from there.  
  
A loud hissing sound, and the coaster crept forward on the track towards the crescendo.   
"Whee!" Farfarello squealed as they slowly moved upwards.  
"Come on, Farf, the ride hasn't even started yet," Nagi commented. Schuldich looked at the ground below, which was getting father and father away.  
"Wow, this thing's really high!" He said, seizing the opportunity to spit over the side.  
"Charming. Really," Crawford mused in disgust.  
  
Meanwhile, far below them waiting in line for the next ride, the character designer for Gluhen felt something splash onto his head. He looked up. Was it starting to rain?  
  
The coaster finally reached the peak of its ascent. Farfarello and Schuldich got a brief glimpse of the sheer drop ahead of them, before they were suddenly plummeting towards the ground. The riders were pushed back in their seats, screaming as they felt their stomachs become infested with butterflies. Schuldich's hair was blowing about in all directions- but mostly into Crawford's face. The bright orange locks tickled his nose.  
"Ah... ah... ACHOO!"  
Unfortunately, the spittle from the sneeze was blown right back in his face. Right now, Takatori wasn't his most favourite person in the world for making him tag along on this outing.   
  
They rounded a corner, tilting the ride and causing Nagi to slide on top of the American, just about crushing his arm.  
"Ow! Get your elbow out of my ribs, Naoe!"  
"I can't help it!"  
Ahead of them, a towering loop in the track loomed ominously. Seconds later, the coaster was on it. Crawford was flung against the handlebars as they were turned upside-down, losing his glasses in the process. The ever-shiny spectacles fell to the ground and shattered. One of the shards of glass flew into the eye of the character designer for Gluhen, who was still waiting in line. His screams were blocked out by the rattling of the roller coaster above.  
  
Blind, nauseous and spitty described the Schwarz leader at present. It hadn't helped when Schuldich had tried to spit over the side again whilst they were on the loop, only for it to hit Crawford in the face. Damn physics. He would have to remember to remove the German's saliva glands once they got home. Maybe knock of Takatori and his brat while he was at it.  
  
In a perfect world, there would be no wars or famine. In a perfect world, everyone would be happy and helpful. And in a perfect world, pigeons would not randomly wander onto roller coaster tracks. Moments before the innocent creature was crushed and mangled by the wheels of the roller coaster, Crawford had a brief vision of blood, gore, and himself lying with his cheek pressed against the concrete and a sharp pain in his ribs.  
  
As the pigeon was caught in the Wheels of Death (tm), causing the ride to derail and fall towards the concrete below, there was only one thought in Crawford's mind:  
"Takatori! Shi-NE!!"  
  
*CRASH!*  
  
The next thing he knew, Crawford was as he had been in his vision. The ride was lying twisted on the ground, with some passengers' bodies equally twisted. At least the carriage Schwarz was in hadn't been turned upside-down like some of the others.  
"Are any of you guys dead?" He asked his teammates.  
"I am," Nagi replied, having once again slid over in his seat.  
"Why didn't you use your powers to get us to safety?!" Crawford asked, trying to shift in order to get the boy's elbow out of his ribs.  
"I was throwing up over the side."  
The precognitive pitied whoever had been the carriage behind them.  
"I feel fine," a nasal voice said. "Something cushioned my fall."  
Glancing ahead, Crawford saw Schuldich lying half outside of the carriage. Beneath him was the mangled corpse of the character designer for Gluhen.  
"I see."  
  
Though a little late in doing so, Nagi used his powers to lift the handlebars, and the three members of Schwarz stumbled out and got to their feet. Crawford spotted a rider who was bleeding profusely from a wound to the head. And he was wearing glasses. The crafty Oracle ran up to him, stole his glasses, and then walked away from the ride with the rest of his team as hoards of safety officers and medics swarmed on the place.  
  
"Wait a second, where's Farf?" Schuldich asked. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged.  
"Do you think he could have been killed in the fall?" Nagi asked.  
"NOOOOO!" The redhead chibified and fell to the ground kicking his legs. "Why him?! Why not Nagi?!"  
"Hey!"  
"Oh, shut up," Crawford groaned. "He's standing over there."  
Farfarello stood at the exit to the ride licking a cookies and cream ice cream. The other members of Schwarz approached him. Nagi raised an eyebrow.  
"How did you-"  
"I fell out on the loop. Lifting the handlebars when you're not supposed to hurts God." He winked and gave a V sign. Nagi and Schuldich sweatdropped.  
"Alright, you've had your fun, now we have to get back to business," Crawford instructed. At this point in time he was fighting the urge to throw up, fall over, go insane, and rip Takatori and whoever invented theme parks to shreds. Slowly. Painfully. Using only his teeth. Farfarello would be proud.  
"Actually, while I was waiting for you slow-pokes I found this really cool ride!" Berserker announced. "It goes round and round and up and down-"  
"NO! No, no, no, no, no, NO!!" Crawford screamed at the top of his lungs. "No more rides! Ever! There's no way... ugh... oh no..." the American covered his mouth and dashed off in the direction of the nearest men's room. Farfarello pouted.  
"But I like merry-go-rounds..."  
_~*OWARI*~_ 


End file.
